Our journey

3 years ago I had a 2 year old girl. She was 25 months old when her brother was born. We were just starting to get into the terrible twos. We responded with time outs, and thought it was a stage she'd grow out of.

We are heavily involved in our church. On Sundays while Ry was in her class at church, and my husband and I were in ours, we started getting reports that Ry was hitting and biting kids and teachers. Again, we thought it was normal behavior that would go away if we continued disciplining her.

It didn't.

Around that time, I accepted a part time job at a preschool. Ry and her brother got to come to work with me. We thought a structured environment would help smooth out her behaviors. 

It got worse.

Hitting, kicking, biting, running away from teachers, climbing on tables.... 

We constructed a behavior chart with stickers.

Ry didn't care whether she earned stupid stickers.

She'd get brought into my classroom so I could deal with her. But I had my own students to watch so that wasn't ideal.

Then we started getting sent home for the rest of the day because her teachers couldn't handle her, so I needed to leave work to bring her home.

The teachers had years of experience so it didn't make sense to us why they couldn't handle her. Over the years they dealt with many students with different personalities and behavior issues. So my husband and I just couldn't figure out why even the professionals didn't know what to do. We had always just assumed it was our inexperience as first time parents that was the issue.

So for 15 months we tried preschool, until finally at the age of 3 Ry was expelled. Instantly I had to quit my job. So I was suddenly left to deal with a child that experienced professionals didn't know what to do with.

We took 9 months to try and provide discipline and structure in our home to get Ry ready for pre-K in public school.

Pre-K was much like preschool. Hitting, biting, running around on the bus, running away, not listening. We were told there was a chance she'd get kicked off the bus. Many times I'd get called down to the school to come pick her up early because they didn't want to deal with her anymore that day. We had meetings with the teacher, principal, and guidance counselor. They finally urged us to take part in a behavior therapy called Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT).

There she was diagnosed as ODD and unofficially diagnosed as ADHD. During therapy we learned to follow a process of time outs, and positive interaction to help get Ry on track at home.

It worked well..... At home.

The problem was, her teachers weren't familiar with this type of therapy, so they couldn't apply it in the school. They did however do behavior studies on her and assured us they'd come up with a plan. We waited and waited for that plan, and we kept on waiting, until June came along and school was over.

To us, public school just wasn't the right answer.

Next step: homeschooling