My life long dream

All my life I wanted to be a mommy, a teacher, and a marine biologist.

3 semesters as a biology major in college taught me that biology wasn't really the route I wanted to go. I switched to elementary education instead. It was a better fit, but not perfect.

After college I moved to a new state where my teacher's license wasn't applicable. So after searching for months I became a preschool teacher and discovered I loved it.

Then I quit my job to stay home with the kids.

After Ry got expelled, and public school didn't work well, we decided to homeschool.

I quickly realized that being a homeschooling mom was a great way to fulfill my dreams of being a mommy and a teacher. I love teaching, and spending my husband's hard earned money on curriculum, craft supplies, and teaching materials.

With 3 kids a home it can get pretty crazy. My youngest is still an infant. My middle child is a momma's boy who needs to be cuddled 24/7. And my oldest is an ODDer who craves individual attention from her mommy 24/7.

I feel stretched thin frequently but I am thankful I have the background in education, and the love and passion to teach my kids well.

We chose a curriculum based on Ry's learning styles, our Christian faith, and the availability of a co-op in our church to keep us on track and provide support on our new journey.

Ry loves math and science. She literally spends hours asking questions about the physiology of the human body. She is also obsessed with numbers, especially even numbers, and whizzes through her math lessons.

Homeschooling is a great way to play to her strengths. And because new situations, loud noises, and lots of people overwhelm her, and she needs to be the center of attention all the time, it's helping with her ODD at home.

So that's where we are now.

Balancing lessons and fun each day.

Our journey

3 years ago I had a 2 year old girl. She was 25 months old when her brother was born. We were just starting to get into the terrible twos. We responded with time outs, and thought it was a stage she'd grow out of.

We are heavily involved in our church. On Sundays while Ry was in her class at church, and my husband and I were in ours, we started getting reports that Ry was hitting and biting kids and teachers. Again, we thought it was normal behavior that would go away if we continued disciplining her.

It didn't.

Around that time, I accepted a part time job at a preschool. Ry and her brother got to come to work with me. We thought a structured environment would help smooth out her behaviors. 

It got worse.

Hitting, kicking, biting, running away from teachers, climbing on tables.... 

We constructed a behavior chart with stickers.

Ry didn't care whether she earned stupid stickers.

She'd get brought into my classroom so I could deal with her. But I had my own students to watch so that wasn't ideal.

Then we started getting sent home for the rest of the day because her teachers couldn't handle her, so I needed to leave work to bring her home.

The teachers had years of experience so it didn't make sense to us why they couldn't handle her. Over the years they dealt with many students with different personalities and behavior issues. So my husband and I just couldn't figure out why even the professionals didn't know what to do. We had always just assumed it was our inexperience as first time parents that was the issue.

So for 15 months we tried preschool, until finally at the age of 3 Ry was expelled. Instantly I had to quit my job. So I was suddenly left to deal with a child that experienced professionals didn't know what to do with.

We took 9 months to try and provide discipline and structure in our home to get Ry ready for pre-K in public school.

Pre-K was much like preschool. Hitting, biting, running around on the bus, running away, not listening. We were told there was a chance she'd get kicked off the bus. Many times I'd get called down to the school to come pick her up early because they didn't want to deal with her anymore that day. We had meetings with the teacher, principal, and guidance counselor. They finally urged us to take part in a behavior therapy called Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT).

There she was diagnosed as ODD and unofficially diagnosed as ADHD. During therapy we learned to follow a process of time outs, and positive interaction to help get Ry on track at home.

It worked well..... At home.

The problem was, her teachers weren't familiar with this type of therapy, so they couldn't apply it in the school. They did however do behavior studies on her and assured us they'd come up with a plan. We waited and waited for that plan, and we kept on waiting, until June came along and school was over.

To us, public school just wasn't the right answer.

Next step: homeschooling

An intro to O.D.D.

No, I am not an odd parent. I am an O.D.D. Parent. Totally different things..... Maybe.

to get started I will introduce you to ODD.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder:

In children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), there is an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures that seriously interferes with the youngster's day to day functioning: Symptoms of ODD may include
• Frequent temper tantrums
•Excessive arguing with adults
•Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
•Delibrate attempts to annoy or upset people
•Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
•Frequent anger and resentment
•Mean and hateful talking when upset
•Spiteful attitude and revenge seeking
(aacap.org)

So picture an unreasonable toddler in the middle of the "terrible twos", who won't listen to reason or respond to authority. Only my ODDer is 5 and we've been dealing with this for 3 years and nothing has changed.

This is our life.

My reason for starting this blog is for that all too familiar goal of awareness.

In our society we are aware of many things. Breast Cancer, Autism, ADHD, Diabetes.
I never understood why groups of people pushed for awareness until recently.

See, as my daughter throws a temper tantrum in public I feel people staring at us, and thinking "what an awful child. She just needs a good spanking". Admit it. You've thought the same thing while watching a kid carry on in the middle of the grocery aisle.

But here's the thing. We've used every typical punishment tactic known to man. Time outs, taking toys away, rewards, sticker charts, bribery, behavior therapy. And the list goes on. (Although we've stopped short of prescribed medication).

No one understands why my child behaves the way she does. And sometimes when I feel those staring eyes on me I just want to shout, "she has ODD!". But that won't mean anything to anyone because the general public has no awareness of this disorder.
Until now.